Run of Play

Suarez/Evra: The Poem

Suárez, enemy of Ghana,
incensed by slur on his hermana,
started this whole ugly din.
Muttered something, pinched the skin.

Game ends, left-back still upset
with alleged racial epithets.
Bangs on match officials’ door.
Kenny: “he’s done this kind of thing before.”

Luis defends the whole palaver.
Black teammates and black grandfather.
“It was friendly, if we’re judging by
the linguistic tropes of Uruguay.” 

Yet no one heard the word “negrito”.
Not Evra, Giggs, nor Chicharito.

Found the footage, watched it slowly.
Spoke to both Kuyt and Commoli.
You never knew that lowly curse
would provoke such fuss and hurried verse.

And then, as if heaven sent:
the FA’s weighty document.
Weeks of ire and protest shirts
floored by ruthless paperwork.

Next, two statements — fire starters.
One from master, one from martyr.
Punishment accepted but guilt denied.
“I’m just not that type of guy.”

Fixture list supplies next chapter.
Television cameras capture
hopes of reconciliation
turn to further provocation.

At last, with public image shafted,
at the behest of Standard Chartered,
an apology for handshakegate.
Far too little and much too late.

(NB – if this offends you, please insert the word “allegedly” as many times as is necessary for it to cease to do so. Thanks for ruining the meter.)

— Jack Lang